Sometimes, I need a good cry session. This morning was good for that. Except, I try to hold my emotions inside while in front of my toddler. I dislike for him to see me cry because I know it distresses him too.
I was hurting for some of my loved ones. And while I thought I had done all I could do to help, I felt like I had hindered even more. The weight of it all was too heavy for me to hold onto any longer. So, I tried to escape. I slipped into the bathroom while my toddler was playing. I cried. I pleaded. And finally, I cried and pleaded to the Lord.
It wasn’t long before my toddler found me. I just had hoped he wouldn’t. After he saw me crying, he quickly scurried away and I felt relief in being able to continue with my affair of sorrows. However, he promptly returned with a play oven-mitt on his hand. He stood in front of me and stared for a moment. Then, he reached up with his covered hand to wipe my tears away, all while lavishing me with positive words of affirmation.
“You’re beautiful. I’m so proud of you. All better.”
To my astonishment, his words brought me great consolation. I felt in that moment that God had used my toddler to speak to directly to me.
“You’re beautiful.” My heart hurt for how I’ve gone about trying to “help” my loved ones. I felt no validation in being valuable or compassionate to them. When I finally acknowledged my failed attempts to God He reminded me,
“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all;– Psalm 34:4-5, 18-19 (NLT).
Yes, because of the Lord’s goodness I am radiant. In my brokenness I am beautiful. And I was reassured that I can trust in God, my Rescuer.
“I’m so proud of you.” It was heavy as I watched my loved ones going through their hurts. However, I can admit that I talked negatively about their choices when I sought others for advice. In my attempt to resolve their matters with my own knowledge, I actually became a hindrance. When I finally asked God to take control, He reminded me,
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”- 1 Peter 5:6-7, 10 (NIV).
Yes, it’s hard to give up control. But when I give up my pride is when God can be proud of me. And because of this act of obedience, God is able to move in both my life and in the lives of my loved ones.
“All better.” I have walked down similar paths and had hoped that my trials and testimonies would’ve resonated with my loved ones. The choices that they made seemed irrational and ignorant, nonetheless their choices. In my mind, their circumstances seemed grim and grievous. When I pronounced thanks to the Lord for who He is, and put my faith in Him for answers that I do not yet see, He reminded me,
“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”- Ephesians 5:15-17, 19-20 (NIV)
Yes, I give thanks to God for helping me see victory whenever I walk in humble obedience to Him. I do thank God for who He is and what His power can do. Because of these truths, I can rest assured that it really will be all better.
Through the tender actions and words of my child, I was reminded of God’s goodness. I must go to God with every single sorrow and joy. I must not subject myself or others to the schemes of the enemy. Furthermore, I must “always give thanks” to my God who is good at being in control. Who reminded me that the heaviness is not meant for me or them to carry. And regardless of my acts of hindrance, when I walk in complete obedience to the will of God my life declares that He has made me holy.
“The Lord.. heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit. The Lord sustains the humble but casts the wicked to the ground. Sing to the Lord with grateful praise..”- Psalm 147:2-7 (NIV)